Wakeup Breathing

Communication is the catalyst in relationships. Whether it’s family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships. Communication the engine of all human transactions, it is also the lubricant that enables people to connect, and remain connected, with each other.

Unless you have been asleep for 20 years you may have noticed the breakdown of marriage in the US. It usually starts when a spouse no longer tells the other what is happening to him or her, what his or her thoughts are, and whether there are issues that need to be resolved. Typically, a divorce starts with one or both spouses clamming up. Once communication is shut down, the process of the marriage disintegrating is set in motion.

The root of an affair is exactly that: communication breakdown. I am a firm believer that quite a number of couples who divorce still love each other. The only problem is that the communication between them has broken down to the point so that either one is apprehensive of rejection………… or pride makes them want to keep giving each other the cold shoulder.

Because of this emotional climate in the marriage, either one of the couple may seek a friendship or a “shoulder to cry on”. This is the usual storyline of most affairs. Dissatisfaction in the relationship leads one party to go out and seek escape, solace, or even merely a listening ear in someone else. Which can lead to a dangerous liaison simply because the hurting party was too vulnerable at that time. This emotional vulnerability is the one thing that will make an otherwise committed spouse risk his or her marriage in favor of temporary thrills.

So how do we avoid communication breakdowns in our marriages? Relationships need work and commitment, and it’s a daily “dying to self”…. By this I mean that we have to make sacrifices to keep the marriage working.

But if you love your spouse, making things work will not be too difficult. You only have to nurture the relationship and each other, and make sure that you connect on a daily basis.

Below are a few suggestions on how to connect:

• Talk often and about everything.

• Do things together as often as you can. Whatever your interests enjoy them together.

• Practice being comfortable in silence. Silences could become the most intimate parts of your relationship. This is when you could just savor the presence of each other without feeling the pressure to communicate verbally. Touch is the most healing of all human (nonverbal) communications, and it will really nurture your relationship if you touch often.

Aside from these practices that will nourish your relationship, make sure that you deal with your problems and issues as they arise. Nothing kills a relationship faster than emotional wounds that have not healed. Never let offenses accumulate and turn into anger and resentment.

And lastly, enjoy each other. If you need help to enjoy each other again, then seek it. Counseling and marital therapists can really help in teaching you tools how to handle relationships. And don’t forget reading up on self-help, like these resources from us. Knowledge could go a long way in cheat-proofing your marriage.

Good luck!

There is so much to be said about the benefits of having a positive mental outlook. The fact that you look at life through a positive filter will always have a huge impact on how you view life in general…….

It is so much like the “glass half full, glass half empty” saying. I absolutely believe that my life glass is half full. Meaning that I have much more life available to fill the glass……I don’t mean time left on the planet as life left.
I mean so much more living to put into my life, and we all have that if we look at life through a positive filter.

But as much as a positive outlook can have on us to create a positive life, there is another aspect that is equally as important if not more important……

That aspect is physical health. You can be as positive as you want but if your not taking care of your physical health you will not live as positiviely as you could otherwise. Because a positive mental outlook and physical health are tied together. And added together they can equal a great life. You could have a gazillion dollars but without your health you would still be very poor. Because you couldn’t enjoy the wealth.

Physical health is more than getting regular exercise and having a healty diet. It is having regular physical exams and tests to check your current health situation. Regular dental checkups because dental health is every bit as important as the rest of your body. Also having preventative medical tests that can expose issues that otherwise might not display for many years.

So stay positive and stay healthy……

Because positive mental outlook + physical health = great life!

Do you think that your belief system is what makes things work for you or against you? Is your belief system creating a life with your values and desires? If your life has not been successful then you should probably change your beliefs so that the new ones work for you and not against you.

Here are some useful tips to change your belief system into one that could work for you.

Let go of fear - do not allow past experience of pain and fear guide you about what you need to do. Fear is an obstacle to growth…. Fear freezes your mental ability to think positively. You need to empower yourself with positive attitude and get rid of fear. Stare fear in its face and just see what you are afraid of. When you analyze the causes and reasons for your fear you will realize that most of it is created by yourself. Face your life with boldness and look for ways to reach for your goals.

Develop optimism– optimists are self-disciplined and persistent in what they want to achieve in their life. Optimists plan and take action to move forward. They constantly learn about how to get better at their skills. Their self-confidence helps them to look for solutions and lead them to success in their goals. If you are pessimistic it is time you shed your pessimistic attitude and develop optimism in its place.

See change as an opportunity for growth – change leads to growth. We all go through so many changes in life. We all learn to grow through these changes. If a particular belief is making you stagnate or blocks your progress in life, change it and follow a new belief system that will enhance your growth and development in life. Get rid of your old belief and replace it with a new one.

Analyze your belief system – generally our beliefs are formed from our past experiences in life. We also adopt certain beliefs from our parents, culture, peer sand environment. When you realize that your beliefs do not support you in life you want… build a new belief system. One that supports the life you want to live.

Adopt new beliefs, ones which you think will help in your life. Write them down and make them a part of your daily actions.

We all face hardships at some point in our lives. Some of us own responsibility and get on with our lives while most of us blame others…. When you own responsibility for yourself you empower yourself. You are the cause and your life experiences are the results in your life.

You determine the direction of your life. You are in control of your life.

If you are not able to explain why your life is as it is, you are probably giving your power away to someone else…. Many people tend to blame something else or someone else or our fate for all bad experiences in our life. Such as an abusive childhood, loss of a loved one or broken relationships. When you are not in control of yourself or your life that means you are powerless. Blame is a disempowering emotion.

If you think by blaming others for your life you are getting away from problems you are wrong. Your life problems will stay the same and will recur again and again as long as you make someone else responsible for your life. You give others power to control you and your life….So your life problems will continue the way they are until you take back your power and claim full responsibility for your emotions, actions and life as a whole.

True empowerment is taking responsibility for your life so that you are free to do whatever you want to do and be anything you choose to be.

Here are a few tips to empower you:

Make your own choices - Life is full of choices and you have the freedom to choose. You learn only through trial and error. Be bold and accept the outcome of your decisions. If your choice is correct, be happy. If not do not blame yourself or others. Instead, analyze where you went wrong and correct yourself. The next time around, you may be able to make the right choices.

Feel grateful - Gratitude is something we never show for the many things we enjoy in life. Instead of cursing your problems look around you and realize how blessed you are to have your good health, sunshine, food, good relationships, fresh air, etc. When you feel grateful for these things you are convinced that life is not bad at all.

Develop mental awareness - Observe your thoughts. Are they good or bad? Are they positive or negative? If your thoughts are positive it is good. You could act on them with positive results. What if you have negative thoughts? You could still control them if you are aware of them. Empower yourself by being aware of your good and bad thoughts.

When you deal with your own pains and pleasures you are the controller of your life. Just know that no one else can take away your power to control your life and events……because you are the master of your destiny!

Is there anything you desire that you feel you cannot have? Is what you want always far from your reach? Anything you want is yours for the taking if you can just tap into the power of your mind. With imagination and belief, you can turn your thoughts into reality. Here are some tips to help you turn your thoughts into reality.

Desire it….Whatever it is you want passion creates a strong connection between you and what you want. Ask yourself – how much do you really want this thing you are thinking of? Is it something you can do without, or something you are really passionate about? Passion is power.

Be specific…Be very clear about what you want. If you want a house, see it very clearly in your mind – the architectural design of the interior and exterior, the garden, and more. Set a deadline…..When do you want to have that house?

Visualize….This is the most powerful tool of the mind. You can be the director and leading actor in your own movie. Walk through your dream house, see the sights, smell the scents, feel the feeling of being there. The subconscious brain does not differentiate between a real experience and an imagined experience. So, once you vividly imagine a scene, you are close to making it into reality. Visualize daily.

Believe….Fear and doubt stand in the way between you and your dream. Should you feel any doubts, believe that the universe will give it to you. The universe is overflowing in blessings and abundance if only you ask and believe! What you believe, the universe gives. If you believe that you will get it, the universe will give it to you. If you believe you won’t, then the universe won’t give it to you.

Take inspired action. From your daily visualizations, you may suddenly get a spark of an idea of how to get the house. Or you might meet a person who knows where you can buy your dream house. At these moments, don’t hesitate. Act!

Follow these steps and you will prove that you can indeed make your ideal real….